


Don't Apologize

by niggletsune



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 10:10:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2648192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niggletsune/pseuds/niggletsune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malia finds Stiles' note to Lydia. Pain ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Apologize

**Author's Note:**

> Fic prompt response that I did for stydia-fanfiction on tumblr :)

            Malia wasn’t exactly snooping. She was curious, yes, but mostly bored. She’d been waiting for Stiles to get home from practice; coach had banned her because of disruptions or something. So Malia started walking around the house, looking at pictures of Stiles and his family. She noticed there weren’t many pictures of his mom and she wondered why. If someone died you should probably remember them, right? When she got tired of looking at the Stilinski faces she went upstairs to Stiles’ room. She started looking on his desk, which was full of papers and books about wolves and mythology. Out of complete and utter boredom and a way of procrastination, since Malia was really supposed to be doing her Calculus, she opened one of the top drawers, searching for anything to occupy her. She thought maybe she’d find a book on coyotes, Stiles said he’d been doing some research on them as well. When she got to the third drawer she noticed a picture frame with a drawing of a tree behind the glass. Intrigued, Malia picked it up inspecting it. It was a good drawing. She felt something on the back of it and flipped it around, revealing an envelope titled ‘For Lydia’. Malia’s nostrils’ flared angrily and she ripped open the envelope pulling out a letter.

 

            Stiles was completely exhausted after practice and then staying after practice with Scott to run drills and lately he’d just been so completely tired of everything. Life had not been easy and it had been hard on him. He was totally ready to spend his Friday in bed with Malia watching shows on his laptop.

            When he got home Stiles threw his lacrosse bag on the floor and kicked off his shoes under the bench.

            “Malia?” he called from the bottom of the stairs. “Malia!” he yelled when she didn’t answer again. He knew she was supposed to be here. She was always here when he got home from practice. She usually greeted him at the door, grinning happily that he was taking her away from the pressures of studying for classes she didn’t understand. Stiles sighed and jogged up the stairs, slipping into his room. Malia sat on the edge of the bed gripping a piece of notebook paper in her hands tightly. When Stiles entered the room her head snapped up and her eyes were tinted sapphire and tinged with unshed tears.

            “Malia, what is it?” Stiles asked, concerned. A shattering sound filled his ears as in and split second Malia grabbed a picture frame that was next to her stood and chucked it at the wall.

            “What was ever the point of us being together?” she asked loudly.

Stiles looked across the room at the shattered picture frame and noticed the branches stemming out from the page: Lydia’s Nemeton drawing. Stiles moved closer to Malia to take the letter from her hands but she growled menacingly between clenched teeth. “Malia-,”

            “No,” she started, shaking her head. “You don’t get to give apologies and make up excuses, Stiles. I liked you. I trusted you! I felt there was something between you and Lydia because of the way that she was so stand-off-ish with me but I ignored it because I felt like that was her problem, not ours. But I was wrong and now I’m standing here feeling like an idiot for ever letting you in!” she yelled.

            “You’re not an idiot, Malia. When I wrote that letter to Lydia I was in a different place than I’m in now. I hadn’t met you yet-,”

            “Stop!” she interrupted. “Stiles, I wasn’t just dating you for the fun of it. I like you, I really, really like you and we’re supposed to be together forever—I just don’t understand.”

            “Malia, I can’t make that kind of commitment to you we’re only seventeen. But I like you, I really do. I’m sorry that you found the note and it upset you but honestly that was before you and I. You shouldn’t be mad.” 

            “Can’t make that kind of commitment? Stiles, you told Lydia in this letter that you’d love her forever. ‘No matter who you were with or what you were doing’! Forever sounds like a commitment to me.”

Stiles clenched his jaw and sighed angrily. “I don’t know what you want. Do you want me to tell you about Lydia and how I feel about her?”

            “Felt about her,” Malia corrected.

Stiles shook his head. “Feel about her. But it doesn’t cloud how I feel about you-,”

            “Go give her this letter.” Malia snapped, hand outstretched. “She deserves to know how you feel.”

            “I can’t. You and I-,”

            “You and me were never going to work, Stiles, at least in your mind anyway. Tell Scott thanks for everything,” she sat the letter on the bed and turned for the window.

            “What are you doing?”

            “I’m leaving,” she said, annoyed.

            “Malia, don’t leave. We can talk about this.”

She shook her head. “There’s nothing for us to talk about. There’s stuff you need to talk about with Lydia. Give her the letter. Tell her I left town, she’ll be happy I’m gone.”

            “You’re leaving town? Just like that?”

She nodded. “Why wouldn’t I? I’ll look for my mother on my own. Peter’s not a problem now. I never really fit into Scott’s pack anyway. You were all that was keeping me here. I don’t want you anymore.” She went out the window without another word.

 

            Stiles lay in bed for a long time, thinking about how he’d hurt Malia and how he’d kept his feelings for Lydia a secret for a long time. Part of him felt like a complete asshole, maybe more than part of him, pretty much all of him. Most of him felt waves and waves of pain that just kept washing over him. He really had liked Malia, could have loved her, even. He never meant for it to end up like this.

 

***

            Stiles lay in bed all day and all night, sometimes sleeping, sometimes not. The next morning he didn’t feel rested enough to go to school, so he didn’t. Scott called but Stiles let the phone ring, and ring, not wanting to talk to anyway. When Scott showed up at lunch and after school, Stiles pretended to be sleeping both times.

            “Stiles,” he heard Scott say just before he left. “I know you’re not sleeping. I know Malia wasn’t at school today and she’s not here and she’s not answering her phone either, so-,” he huffed, “I don’t know what happened, man, but you guys can fix it. I’ll be around when you want to talk.”

Stiles swallowed through the lump in his throat but didn’t turn around to face his friend. He waited to move until he heard Scott’s footsteps go down the stairs, and listened to the door slam.

 

            His dad forced him to get out of bed when he got home from work two days later. The Sheriff had noticed that Stiles hadn’t come out of his room the day before and he even noticed he didn’t get up for school the next two mornings. He especially noticed the absence of one particular were-coyote.

            “You wanna talk, kiddo?” Stiles’ dad asked.

            “No,” Stiles mumbled into his pillow.

            “Well at least get out of bed and shower, eat, and do something, Stiles.”

            “I’m good, dad,” Stiles replied quietly.

The Sheriff came and sat at the foot of the bed. “I don’t know what happened, but I’m sure you two can fix it.”

Stiles shook his head and turned over to face the Sheriff. “She’s gone, dad.”

            “Gone?” Sheriff Stilinski asked.

Stiles nodded and bit his lip. “She thinks I’m in love with Lydia, she said she couldn’t be with me, couldn’t trust me, so she left town. She said she was going to look for her mom on her own,” Stiles sat up for better interaction.

His dad placed a hand on his shoulder. “Love is messy, son. I know it hurts like hell now, but it will get better. It’ll be a lot better if you shower, it’s starting to smell like teenage boy in here,” the Sheriff laughed.

Stiles cracked a smile. “You didn’t try to say that I wasn’t in love with Lydia..,” Stiles pointed out.

The Sheriff sighed. “Son,” he started, “you and Lydia have a history. Not a romantic history on Lydia’s part, maybe-,”

            “Oh geez, dad you’re making me feel so much better.”

The Sheriff laughed. “Let me finish. A romantic history on your part and you’re always going to care about Lydia and I don’t know, Stiles. Maybe you do love her or maybe Malia just didn’t like the fact that you cared about her.”

            “I wrote Lydia a letter a few months ago when everything was going to hell to tell her to get out of town and that I was in love with her and that I’d always be in love with her no matter who I was with, dad.”

Sheriff Stilinski gave Stiles an uneasy look. “That might cause some problems.”

Stiles threw himself back into the bed. “I’m such an idiot! I was just so crazy about Lydia and at the time I didn’t know what was going on with me and I thought we were getting closer and I just cared about her so much back then, ya know?”

            “How do you feel now?”

            “I feel like the worst person in the world and I just want to lay in this bed until I rot.”

            “Not in my house, I’m not cleaning up your dead mess. I have enough dead messes to clean up at the station.”

Stiles laughed. “I’ll shower, I promise.”

            “And come eat with me?”

            “You’re pushing it.” Stiles said.

            “I’ll order takeout, see you when you get out of the shower.”

 

            Stiles returned to school the next day clad in grey sweatpants, a black sweatshirt, and his usual sneakers. It had been the outfit he’d slept in. He didn’t have the drive to get up and get ready for school anymore. He didn’t care. There wasn’t anyone he needed to try and look good for. When Scott, Kira, Isaac, and Lydia spotted Stiles standing at his locker they all looked around each other, each one wondering what to do.

            “Malia left town,” Scott said. “I talked to the Sheriff last night. He finally got a word out of Stiles after two days.”

            “Why?” Kira asked. “She didn’t say anything about needing to go anywhere.”

Scott shrugged. “The Sheriff told me to ask Stiles about that one.” Scott knew the real reason; he just didn’t think it was his place to break the news to all of their friends about Stiles’ personal life.

Lydia sighed and gave Stiles a long and sympathetic look. She pushed her purse up to her shoulder and stalked over to him, determined to get a word out of him herself. They’d had a project they were supposed to be working on for AP Bio and he’d been ignoring her texts for two days. He’d removed the key from her front door and she’d spent twenty minutes pounding on it yesterday after school, getting no response from the boy inside.

            “Hey,” Lydia said firmly as she planted herself in front of Stiles.

His eyes snapped up from the photo taped to her locker door of he and Malia. He ripped it off roughly and crumpled it up, stuffing it on his sweatpants pocket. He met Lydia’s eyes, not even realizing she’d been standing there.

            “Oh, hey,” he said quietly.

Lydia had been all ready to yell at him about being so MIA but once she saw the sleepless bags under his sad eyes she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

            “Do you want to get out of here?” Lydia asked.

Relief washed over Stiles. “God, I was hoping someone would ask me that today. But I’ve already missed two days and-”

Lydia held out her hand in a friendly way, “It’s Friday anyway! Let’s go!”

 

            They took Lydia’s car and just started driving. She didn’t know where they were going or what they were doing but she just knew she needed to get Stiles out of town and get everything, whatever “everything” may be, off of his mind. Once Lydia saw a lake with a dock along it she pulled off into the entrance and parked the car.

            “My grandma used to bring me here in the summertime, we’d spend all day just walking along the dock, looking at the sail boats.” Lydia said. “I haven’t been here since I was a little girl.”

Stiles forced a smile. “It’s nice. Should we—,”

            “Yeah, let’s get out.”

 

            They walked in silence for a while, just looking at the sailboats and the fish swimming in the water. The sun was out and shinning, making the chillier day just a tad warmer than it should have been. Once they found a spot in the grass overlooking the water Lydia laid out the blanket she’d grabbed from the car and gestured for Stiles to sit down with her.

            “Malia broke up with me,” Stiles blurted. “And then she left town.”

Lydia felt an array of emotions swell inside of her. She honestly didn’t know how to feel, happy because she hadn’t ever really cared for the girl, sad because Stiles was clearly hurting over the situation, relief because she finally had Stiles bad, angry because how the hell do you just dump some one and then leave town, unless you’re Jackson Whittemore of course.

            “What happened?” she asked.

Stiles sighed and sunk down into the blanket. “A combination of things, I think. I don’t know.” He wasn’t exactly ready to  “It was bad there was a fight and then she just left.”

            “You don’t deserve her,” Lydia said truthfully.

Stiles sat up and furrowed his brows. “I don’t deserve anybody, honesty. After these past few months and the things that I did—the people I hurt,” Stiles cut off shaking his head.

Lydia shook her head as well and grabbed Stiles’ face. “No. Stop. None of that was your fault. Do you understand me Stiles? That wasn’t you. I know you. You’re sweet, and funny, kind, intelligent, erratic, you’re amazing and that wasn’t you so please stop blaming yourself because you are—,” suddenly Lydia was cut off. Stiles had grabbed her face back and impulsively smashed their lips together, breathing Lydia in. His mouth was gone from hers as fast as it came. “God I’m sorry,” he huffed. “I’m so fucking stupid I—,” his voice was then cut off by Lydia’s mouth. She kissed him deeply and longingly, as if she’d been waiting for this moment for as long as he’d loved her. “Please don’t apologize,” she said.

            “Wh—what?”

Lydia ran her fingers through her hair. “I wanted it as much as you. Don’t apologize.”          

            “But it’s wrong. I just broke up with Malia and I need time. God, Lydia,” Stiles chewed on his lip. He then pulled a crumpled letter out of his pocket. “This is why Malia broke up with me,” he handed her the note.  

Lydia took the paper in her hands and studied it closely. Stiles watched as emotions passed over her face. His heart was pounding in his throat as she read.

 

_Lydia,_

_I’ve got all these thoughts spinning around in my head about me, you, life in general I guess. Something’s going on with me and I can’t quite figure out what it is but I feel like I need to say something to you before it’s too late and everything changes. Too many people die in Beacon Hills for me to wait any longer so, here it goes._

_Your intelligence is so beautiful, yes, you’re physically beautiful, so incredibly, undeniably, physically beautiful but, for a mind I just want to talk about your mind. You are without a doubt the smartest person I know, no wonder your IQ is so high. Being said, I want you to get out of this place before something back happens to you because Lydia, I love you. I said it and I’ll say it again, I’m in love with you. I’ve loved you since the third grade but it took these last few years for me to get to know you better to really be **in** love with you. I got to know your intelligence and your personality and nothing out of those amazing things has done anything to stray me away. I don’t think I’m ever going to stop loving you. So get out of Beacon Hills, go to Harvard or Yale or across the world and live the life you would have if you’d never felt the pain that’s we’ve all dealt with. Develop that mathematical equation, win that Field’s Medal and if you ever think of me and wonder how I’m doing, know that I’m waiting for you. No matter who I’m wit or what I’m doing I’ll still be in love with you and I’m still going to be waiting for you. Because you drew this picture of this Nemeton, which led us to my dad and he’s alive, because of you. Because he is alive I will love you and your beautiful banshee mind fir the rest of my life. _

_Stiles_

            Lydia sniffled the tears away and looked up at Stiles with them sparkling in her eyes. “I’m not going to leave town, you know.”

Stiles smiled. “I’d hoped you wouldn’t now. But at that time the nogitsune was taking over and everything was going crazy and I just knew something bad was going to happen and I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

            “You said you’d always be waiting for me?” Lydia asked. Stiles nodded in reply. She smiled and planted a chaste kiss on his lips. “I’m going to wait for you, then. You let me know when you’re ready and I’ll be here because I’m ready Stiles. I want this.”

Stiles pulled her close to him and planted a kiss to her hair. “I’m sorry I’m not ready now.”

            “Stop apologizing to me, Stilinski. I don’t mind. You had to wait practically a decade, I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”

            “Two decades?” Stiles laughed.

            “Seven if that’s what it takes,” Lydia pulled away and grinned.

            “I can’t promise you I won’t kiss you again if it takes that long.”

Lydia beamed. “I sure hope you wouldn’t.” She then looked up at the sky that was starting to gray with thick clouds. “We should go.”

Stiles stood up and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he waited for Lydia to gather the blanket and her letter. He felt the picture of he and Malia in his pocket and took it out. He then crumpled it further before tossing it to the ground and intertwining his fingers with Lydia’s as they walked back to the car, both excited for their future together.  


End file.
